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Sirius Lewis, Esq.
Canine Attorney at Law
No Case Too Small
Will Keep You Outta the Doghouse!
If you are an Italian Greyhound or a dog of any breed and have committed:
1. an infraction
2. a misdemeanor
3. a felony
...hire the services of Sirius S. Lewis, Esq. PRONTO!
If you would like to develop the habit of:
1. chewing on only the best parts of the furniture
2. piddling on the new carpet or
3. shredding any paper item in sight....
RUN do not walk to this website and the services
of Sirius S. Lewis, Esq. Canine SHYSTER...er Attorney at Law. Sir Sirius specializes
in cases such as yours!!! In fact it is solely thanks to the Hon. Mr. Lewis
that our beloved Queen Gracie remains on the loose and outta the coop.
As you know Queen Gracie does not dispense advice concerning:
1. piddle poop attacks
2. flea infestations or
3. garbage can raids.
Such things are beneath the dignity of a
Queen. Sirius Lewis Esq., however, handles ANYTHING!!! He is a humble man...er
Iggy...and has personallydevised every garbage can racket in dogdom. He is also
an expert on stealth piddle-poop attack strategies and has MANY friends among
the flea-infested.
For the paltry sum of 5 bones...er bucks...legal advice will be offered at this
website. Sir Sirius is a Shyster of the highest magnitude and is guaranteed
to give everyone a bum steer. He is an equal opportunity canine and will handle
cases of all breeds...even Pomeranians. However...Sir Sirius draws the line
at cats. It is his Considered Legal Opinion that cats are best when roasted,
broiled or occasionally stewed. As a matter of fact Sir Sirius dispenses his
best advice when ... uh... "stewed".
Please click the paypal button below for your $5 donation to Italian Greyhound
Rescue (IGRF). Then please write immediately to Ms.
Barb Lewis, Legal Secretary to the Esquire and POUR YOUR HEART OUT! Your
case will then be presented for all to view via this website along with the
Sirius. S. Lewis, Esq. legal opinion. Opinions will be open to public view for
a period of time not less than 2 weeks. Please be aware that all opinions will
be:
1. biased
2. based on whim
3. useless
4. outrageous and
5. BUM!!!
Should you prefer to deposit your 5 bones er bucks via check...please write
to: LonghouseJ@aol.com for further direction.
